Malandro Consulting Group

Are You Indecisive? Blind Spot #9

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This is the ninth of 10 blind spots that may be sabotaging your effectiveness.

 

Blind Spot #9—Not Taking a Stand. What it Means.    

Do you avoid making decisions, postpone them, or make decisions that are unclear? Does this apply to you?  If it does, you don’t take a stand for what you want and you’re letting others down.

The Downside of Sitting on the Fence    

Do you delay decisions much too long?  Or, do you avoid making them altogether?  If your answer is “yes”, your behavior drives everyone crazy. Your lack of decisiveness cripples your coworkers and team.  No one can move forward. To others, you’re a fence-sitter, someone who stares off into the clouds contemplating a decision without regard to the consequences of not making one.

Your indecisive behavior is a sure-fire recipe for your own ineffectiveness.  Others will lose their enthusiasm when you don’t take a stand.  They will disengage and look for someone who is strong and decisive. Your name will be on the short list of people to avoid.

 

Do YOU Avoid Taking a Stand?    

Ask others to assess your behavior using the scale of 1 (rarely) to 5 (frequently).

Power Point Blind Spot 9

 

 

How do you rate?

32 to 40:    Your indecisiveness is not an attractive or useful quality. People may like you, but they won’t follow you.

17 to 31:    You’re inconsistent.  Make a decision and take a bold stand. This is what people want from you.

8 to 16:      Others appreciate your willingness to go out on the skinny branches. Keep being decisive as long as your decisions forward the action.

Want More?

Read the book Fearless Leadership and the anti-blogs on the 10 Blind Spots.

 

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Do You Conspire against Others? Blind Spot #7

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This is the seventh of 10 blind spots that may be sabotaging your effectiveness.

 

Blind Spot #7—Conspiring Against Others. What it Means   

Conspiring is a strong but necessary word when it comes to describing this lethal blind spot.

People who conspire against others: 1) Actively participate in negative conversations about an individual/group that is not present, 2) Silently endorse negative comments about others by not speaking up, or 3) Attack others’ credibility which raises suspicions.

The Downside of Building Silos and Camps 

Do you participate in deadly water-cooler conversations?  Do you silently endorse nasty attacks on others?  Do you influence others to agree with your negative viewpoint?

If you engage in conspiracies—actively or passively—you are on a guaranteed path of destruction. People will view you as a snake and shun you. Even your co-conspirators—the people who agree with you—will not trust you.  They know you will throw them under the bus in a moment and they’re correct.

You’ll lose it all—friends, trust, job promotions.

 

Do YOU Conspire against Others?   

Ask others to assess your behavior using the scale of 1 (rarely) to 5 (frequently).

Malandro Blind Spot 7

How do you rate?

32 to 40:    You are profoundly hurt, disappointed, and/or angry and it’s showing in your behavior.  Stop! You are self-destructing.

17 to 31:    Sometimes you’re good; sometimes you’re horrid. Do you want this reputation? Apologize and get on a constructive path.

8 to 16:       You steer clear of negative conversations.  But do you stand up for others?

Want More?

Read the book Fearless Leadership and the anti-blogs on the 10 Blind Spots.

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Dr. Loretta Malandro is the CEO of the Malandro Consulting Group (www.malandro.com) and the author of several landmark business communication books including: Fearless Leadership, Say It Right the First Time, and her new book, “Speak Up, Show Up, and Stand Out: The 9 Communication Rules You Need to Succeed”.

Do You Make Slippery Commitments? Blind Spot #6

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This is the sixth of 10 blind spots that may be sabotaging your effectiveness.

 

Blind Spot #6—Treating Commitments Casually. What it Means   

A casual commitment is the lack of a clear “no” response, a clear “yes” response, or the lack of a specific timeframe or deadline.

If you use hedging words such as “maybe, perhaps, sometime, or soon” you may be a master at making empty promises.

Do you ever say “let’s have coffee (or lunch, dinner) sometime.”  The word “sometimes” makes this a casual promise. Without a specific date and time, this is an invitation to nothing.

The Downside of Making Slippery Commitments 

Do you avoid giving a clear “yes” or “no” response?  Do you make promises but conveniently leave out when something is going to happen?

If you do, you have learned how to escape being held accountable. No one can point the finger at you because you’re ready with your glib response: “I never said I would do “x” by such-and-such date”.

Oh, you are smooth but you’re paying a high price for your slippery communication. People will dismiss your words because you are all talk and no action. You will lose credibility, trust, relationships, and opportunities. Is this enough to get your attention?

 

Do YOU Make Casual Commitments?   

Ask others to assess your behavior using the scale of 1 (rarely) to 5 (frequently).

Blind Spot 6 Malandro

 

How do you rate?

32 to 40:    WOW!  You are a master of slippery commitments.  How’s this working for you?

17 to 31:    Your inconsistent promises get you in trouble.  Clean it up.

8 to 16:       You are good—you make and keep your commitments.  Keep up the rigor.

Want More?

Read the book Fearless Leadership and the anti-blogs on the 10 Blind Spots.

 

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Dr. Loretta Malandro is the CEO of the Malandro Consulting Group (www.malandro.com) and the author of several landmark business communication books including: Fearless Leadership, Say It Right the First Time, and her new book, “Speak Up, Show Up, and Stand Out: The 9 Communication Rules You Need to Succeed”.

 

Do You Blame Others? Blind Spot 5

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This is the fifth of 10 blind spots that can sabotage your effectiveness.

Blind Spot #5:  Blaming People or Circumstances. What it Means   

Pointing the finger at others or at a situation is the art of deflecting the blame from yourself to others.  After all, it’s much easier to blame and make excuses than it is to take accountability.

The Downside of The Blame Game 

Do you blame external factors instead of taking accountability?

If you do, others will perceive you as untrustworthy, a pot-stirrer, divisive, a silo builder, and a time-waster. They quickly learn that you generate blame far more often than you generate solutions.

 

Do YOU Blame People or Circumstances?   

Ask others to assess you using the scale of 1 (rarely) to 5 (frequently).

Blind Spot 5 Malandro

How do you rate?

32 to 40:    You’re sabotaging yourself.  You view people as enemies or allies.  Making excuses is second-nature to you.

17 to 31:    Sometimes you take accountability and sometimes you don’t.  Others can’t count on you to be a stand-up person and own the problem all the time.

8 to 16:      Congratulations!  You are committed to taking accountability. You slide once in a while, but you quickly recover.

Want More?

Read the book Fearless Leadership and the anti-blogs on The 10 Blind Spots.

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Dr. Loretta Malandro is the CEO of the Malandro Consulting Group (www.malandro.com) and the author of several landmark business communication books including: Fearless Leadership, Say It Right the First Time, and her new book, “Speak Up, Show Up, and Stand Out: The 9 Communication Rules You Need to Succeed”.

Do You Avoid Tough Conversations? Blind Spot #4

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From the Author of Speak Up, Show Up, and Stand Out & Fearless Leadership

This is the fourth of 10 blind spots that can sabotage your effectiveness.

 Blind Spot #4–Avoiding Difficult Conversations.  What it Means.   

The definition: Avoiding the discomfort of dealing with certain topics and/or people.

If you have this blind spot you may also have a fear: Having a difficult conversation will make things worse.

 The Downside of Avoiding (and Postponing) Tough Conversations

Do tough conversations make you feel uncomfortable?  Do you avoid them or postpone them?

The problem is: If you can’t talk about it, you can’t resolve it.

If you consistently avoid difficult conversations, people will perceive you as:  weak, withholding your real feelings, and watering down your message. You’ll lose credibility when people discover they can’t count on you to be direct.

Do YOU Avoid Tough Conversations?   

Ask others to rate you on the following items using the scale of 1 (rarely) to 5 (frequently).

Blind Spot 4 Pic

How do you rate?

32 to 40:    You shut yourself—and everyone else—down. People can count on you to run and hide.

17 to 31:    You shy away from certain issues. Your behavior is inconsistent.

8 to 16:       You speak up and handle tough issues. Just make sure you speak up responsibly.

Want More?

Read the book Fearless Leadership and the anti-blogs on The 10 Blind Spots.

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Dr. Loretta Malandro is the CEO of the Malandro Consulting Group (www.malandro.com) and the author of several landmark business communication books including: Fearless Leadership, Say It Right the First Time, and her new book, “Speak Up, Show Up, and Stand Out: The 9 Communication Rules You Need to Succeed”.

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Are You a Know-It-All? Blind Spot #3

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This is the third of 10 blind spots that can sabotage your effectiveness.

Blind Spot #3—Having an “I Know” Attitude. What it Means

Do you have an answer for everything? Do you feel the need to defend your views? These are tip-offs that you may have an “I know” attitude.
If you have an “I know” attitude it means that you think you have all the answers. You dismiss others’ input and you have the need to be right.

The Downside of Having an “I Know” Attitude

Is your need to be right much stronger than your need to be effective?
If this is the case, others will label you as: a tyrant, obnoxious, or a bully just to name a few. People will avoid you at all costs, feel exhausted just being around you, and walk away feeling diminished and inadequate.

 

Do YOU Have an “I Know” Attitude?

Ask others to rate you on the following items using the scale of 1 (rarely) to 5 (frequently). Resist your knee-jerk reaction to skip this part because you already know what others will say!

engaged employees

How do you rate?

32 to 40:    You’re in the danger zone. You come across as needing to be right about everything.

17 to 31:    You irritate others. Not all the time, but still too much of the time.

8 to 16:       You come across as flexible and open to other’s viewpoints. Improve the little things.

Want More?

Read the book Fearless Leadership and the anti-blogs on The 10 Blind Spots.

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Dr. Loretta Malandro is the CEO of the Malandro Consulting Group (www.malandro.com) and the author of several landmark business communication books including: Fearless Leadership, Say It Right the First Time, and her new book, “Speak Up, Show Up, and Stand Out: The 9 Communication Rules You Need to Succeed”.

Are You Insensitive? Blind Spot #2

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This is the second of 10 blind spots that can sabotage your effectiveness.

Blind Spot #2—Being Insensitive to Your Impact on Others.  What It Means.   

Do you miss the verbal and nonverbal cues of others?  If you do, you may have a low threshold for recognizing when your own words and behaviors have a less-than-desirable impact.

If you have this second blind spot—being insensitive to your impact on others—it means one of two things:  1) You lack awareness about how your behavior affects others, or 2) You lack the skills to know how to change your behavior to have a positive impact.

The Downside of Missing or Ignoring Cues 

Are you shocked by how people react to things you say or do?  If you are, you may be insensitive to your impact on others.  Although your intention is not to provoke a negative reaction in people, your behavior sends a different message.

If you are insensitive to others, it’s likely that you do not recognize how your words or actions make people feel.  You will miss important cues and you will leave people feeling irritated, resentful, disrespected, angry, or hurt.

 

Are YOU Insensitive to Your Impact on Others?   

Ask others to assess your behavior using the scale of 1 (rarely) to 5 (frequently).

blind spots

How do you rate?

32 to 40:    Warning—your insensitivity is highly insensitive. You miss even the most basic cues from others.  Read this several times.

17 to 31:    You are basically a sensitive person with insensitive behaviors.  Close the gap.

8 to 16:       You pick up the cues of others and respond appropriately.   Keep refining your skills.

Want More?

Read the book Fearless Leadership and the anti-blogs on The 10 Blind Spots.

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Do You Go it Alone? Blind Spot #1

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This is the first of 10 blind spots that can sabotage your effectiveness.

Blind Spot #1—Going it Alone. What it Means

Do you believe that you should be able to handle everything by yourself? That it’s your responsibility to keep the weight of the world on your shoulders?
People who view themselves as self-sufficient and responsible frequently fall into the trap of going it alone. Going it alone—shouldering the burden yourself and not seeking (or rejecting) support from others—is the #1 blind spot.

The Downside of Going it Alone

Do people trust you to be open and honest in good times and bad? High performance teamwork requires this type of self-disclosure, mutual support, and trust.
If you are a team member or a team leader who goes it alone, others will feel excluded and minimized. When people can’t connect with the real and vulnerable you, they will comply, work around you, limit their contributions, and solve problems on their own without the benefit of your input.

 

Do YOU Go it Alone?

If you want the unvarnished truth, ask peers, direct reports, superiors, and your friends/family to assess you.
Directions: Use the scale of 1 (rarely) to 5 (frequently) to rate each item.

 

Blind Spot 1 Assessment

 

 

How do you rate?

32 to 40:    No debate—you go it alone.  Ask others for coaching and apply it.

17 to 31:    You go it alone in certain situations.  Discover what triggers you.

8 to 16:       You seldom go it alone but that’s always room to grow.

 

Want More?

Read the book Fearless Leadership and the anti-blogs on the 10 Blind Spots.

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Dr. Loretta Malandro is the CEO of the Malandro Consulting Group (www.malandro.com) and the author of several landmark business communication books including: Fearless Leadership, Say It Right the First Time, and her new book, “Speak Up, Show Up, and Stand Out: The 9 Communication Rules You Need to Succeed”.

The 10 Blind Spots that Undermine Your Success

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From the Author of Speak Up, Show Up, and Stand Out & Fearless Leadership

Blind Spots. What are They? 

The phrase blind spots sounds like a character flaw, a defect, or something that is wrong with you.  None of the above.

Blind spots are automatic and unproductive behaviors that others can see in you but you cannot see in yourself.

Everyone Suffers When You are Blind to Your Blind Spots 

Because blind spots are outside of your awareness, you may be repeating the same unproductive behavior and getting the same results—people working around you and not with you.

You’re not intentionally trying to frustrate or hurt others, but everyone suffers just the same—you, your career, your coworkers, and your family. 

Are You Successful In Spite of Yourself?

It doesn’t matter if you’re a super-star. Everyone has blind spots.  Being successful is not a valid measure of your optimal effectiveness. All it means is that you’ve gone as far as you can go despite your blind spots. The crucial question is:

  “How much more could you achieve if you transformed your ineffective behavior into effective behavior? 

How do You Rate?

Do you think you have any of the following blind spots?

10 Blind Spots Pic 2

Learn More about Yourself and Each Blind Spot

Each blind spot will have its own anti-blog.  Stay tuned as we post them weekly. For a more in-depth discussion of blind spots, read Fearless Leadership.

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Dr. Loretta Malandro is the CEO of the Malandro Consulting Group (www.malandro.com) and the author of several landmark business communication books including: Fearless Leadership, Say It Right the First Time, and her new book, “Speak Up, Show Up, and Stand Out: The 9 Communication Rules You Need to Succeed”.

 

 

 

The 3 Levels of Negativity: How Do You Rank?

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Malandro Consulting Communication Rules

From the new book Speak Up, Show Up, and Stand Out

 

Do negative conversations prevent you (and others) from doing your best work?

No one wants to think that he or she is a negative person. We reserve this label to describe our co-workers or friends. You may not realize that you are making toxic comments or silently endorsing negative comments. But these behaviors hurt you just the same.

If you’re thinking, “I don’t join in with the complainers and backstabbers,” take a closer look at your behavior by answering the following questions.

 

communication negativity

 

The questions you answered above correspond to the 3 levels of negativity:

Level 1—Occasional Venting: You blow off steam by venting to others. Your normal optimism is outweighed by your frustration and you just want someone who will listen so you can get back on track.

Level 2—Habitual Negativity: You constantly complain and focus on what’s not working. You’re fixated on what others should or should not do. You are resigned that despite your best efforts nothing will ever change.

Level 3—Taking Sides and Building Camps: You intentionally try to convert others to your negative view by engaging people to be your co-conspirators. You are not a bad person; you’re just highly frustrated. Your unproductive communication damages your relationships and your future.

It’s not easy to confront your own negativity. Denial is always our best defense.

Strip away the judgment about yourself and ask the question: “Are my behaviors undermining my effectiveness?

 

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Dr. Loretta Malandro is the CEO of the Malandro Consulting Group (www.malandro.com) and the author of several landmark business communication books including: Fearless Leadership, Say It Right the First Time, and her new book, “Speak Up, Show Up, and Stand Out: The 9 Communication Rules You Need to Succeed”.