Monthly Archives: December 2014

Do You Avoid Tough Conversations? Blind Spot #4

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From the Author of Speak Up, Show Up, and Stand Out & Fearless Leadership

This is the fourth of 10 blind spots that can sabotage your effectiveness.

 Blind Spot #4–Avoiding Difficult Conversations.  What it Means.   

The definition: Avoiding the discomfort of dealing with certain topics and/or people.

If you have this blind spot you may also have a fear: Having a difficult conversation will make things worse.

 The Downside of Avoiding (and Postponing) Tough Conversations

Do tough conversations make you feel uncomfortable?  Do you avoid them or postpone them?

The problem is: If you can’t talk about it, you can’t resolve it.

If you consistently avoid difficult conversations, people will perceive you as:  weak, withholding your real feelings, and watering down your message. You’ll lose credibility when people discover they can’t count on you to be direct.

Do YOU Avoid Tough Conversations?   

Ask others to rate you on the following items using the scale of 1 (rarely) to 5 (frequently).

Blind Spot 4 Pic

How do you rate?

32 to 40:    You shut yourself—and everyone else—down. People can count on you to run and hide.

17 to 31:    You shy away from certain issues. Your behavior is inconsistent.

8 to 16:       You speak up and handle tough issues. Just make sure you speak up responsibly.

Want More?

Read the book Fearless Leadership and the anti-blogs on The 10 Blind Spots.

Anti Blog

Dr. Loretta Malandro is the CEO of the Malandro Consulting Group (www.malandro.com) and the author of several landmark business communication books including: Fearless Leadership, Say It Right the First Time, and her new book, “Speak Up, Show Up, and Stand Out: The 9 Communication Rules You Need to Succeed”.

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Are You a Know-It-All? Blind Spot #3

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This is the third of 10 blind spots that can sabotage your effectiveness.

Blind Spot #3—Having an “I Know” Attitude. What it Means

Do you have an answer for everything? Do you feel the need to defend your views? These are tip-offs that you may have an “I know” attitude.
If you have an “I know” attitude it means that you think you have all the answers. You dismiss others’ input and you have the need to be right.

The Downside of Having an “I Know” Attitude

Is your need to be right much stronger than your need to be effective?
If this is the case, others will label you as: a tyrant, obnoxious, or a bully just to name a few. People will avoid you at all costs, feel exhausted just being around you, and walk away feeling diminished and inadequate.

 

Do YOU Have an “I Know” Attitude?

Ask others to rate you on the following items using the scale of 1 (rarely) to 5 (frequently). Resist your knee-jerk reaction to skip this part because you already know what others will say!

engaged employees

How do you rate?

32 to 40:    You’re in the danger zone. You come across as needing to be right about everything.

17 to 31:    You irritate others. Not all the time, but still too much of the time.

8 to 16:       You come across as flexible and open to other’s viewpoints. Improve the little things.

Want More?

Read the book Fearless Leadership and the anti-blogs on The 10 Blind Spots.

Anti Blog

 

Dr. Loretta Malandro is the CEO of the Malandro Consulting Group (www.malandro.com) and the author of several landmark business communication books including: Fearless Leadership, Say It Right the First Time, and her new book, “Speak Up, Show Up, and Stand Out: The 9 Communication Rules You Need to Succeed”.

Are You Insensitive? Blind Spot #2

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This is the second of 10 blind spots that can sabotage your effectiveness.

Blind Spot #2—Being Insensitive to Your Impact on Others.  What It Means.   

Do you miss the verbal and nonverbal cues of others?  If you do, you may have a low threshold for recognizing when your own words and behaviors have a less-than-desirable impact.

If you have this second blind spot—being insensitive to your impact on others—it means one of two things:  1) You lack awareness about how your behavior affects others, or 2) You lack the skills to know how to change your behavior to have a positive impact.

The Downside of Missing or Ignoring Cues 

Are you shocked by how people react to things you say or do?  If you are, you may be insensitive to your impact on others.  Although your intention is not to provoke a negative reaction in people, your behavior sends a different message.

If you are insensitive to others, it’s likely that you do not recognize how your words or actions make people feel.  You will miss important cues and you will leave people feeling irritated, resentful, disrespected, angry, or hurt.

 

Are YOU Insensitive to Your Impact on Others?   

Ask others to assess your behavior using the scale of 1 (rarely) to 5 (frequently).

blind spots

How do you rate?

32 to 40:    Warning—your insensitivity is highly insensitive. You miss even the most basic cues from others.  Read this several times.

17 to 31:    You are basically a sensitive person with insensitive behaviors.  Close the gap.

8 to 16:       You pick up the cues of others and respond appropriately.   Keep refining your skills.

Want More?

Read the book Fearless Leadership and the anti-blogs on The 10 Blind Spots.

Anti Blog